decorate for your soul

Recently I've been talking to women who are feeling unsettled in their home. One woman has a blank canvas to decorate. She followed all the advice on social media to create a neutral palette of freshly painted walls, refinished floors, and new floor moldings. Without decorative items in place, she's unable to fully appreciate all of the updates they made. The other woman is moving into her partner's home. He is completely open to updating the home to her preferences and style but she feels overwhelmed and isn't sure where to start. 

I directed the first woman to Maria Killam's website and social media posts. She creates incredibly helpful videos to show people how to decorate their spaces and more specifically, how to create cohesive color palettes that flow. Maria created a system to teach how to distinguish the undertones in colors and to learn how to coordinate them.

For the second woman, I advised her to make small changes, starting in the mud room since it's the place where everyone enters the house. As she is trying to comfort and soothe herself in this "new to her" home, it's important that she feel welcome as soon as she opens the door. I suggested she use the counter and wall area above it as a place to symbolize the blending of two lives. By adding a single framed art piece on the wall (of her choosing), she will instantly see the essence of herself and it will help her feel at home. Together, they can surround this central art piece with their favorite family pictures to create a gallery wall, representing all of their children. ​Further, she can add plants, flowers, and a candle that she finds appealing. Lighting the candle (symbolic of ritual or ceremony) and tending to the plants and flowers, gives her a reason to spend more time in this area rather than quickly passing through. These items can prompt her to immerse herself in the essence of the new life they're building. Further, as she tends to the plants and flowers (symbolic of beauty and growth), she can tell herself that she is also tending to their family and the love they have for each other (symbolized by the pictures). 

Another important room for her, is the kitchen because it's where they spend a majority of their time and it's the next room they enter after the mud room. The built-in desk area is another perfect area to create a meaningful vignette, most specifically for her during this adjustment period. Placing her favorite books, vessels, and pictures here gives her another visual cue that she is home. Now she has two significant displays that help her feel welcomed in each time she enters the house.

Additional updates are going to occur quickly in the bedroom. She will be bringing in some of her own furniture items. They coordinate well with his items and together, it will create a nice balance. They will intentionally search for a new art piece to purchase and hang on the wall above the headboard. This will be the first big item they purchase together. He currently has a vision board that is displayed on the wall across from the bed. Since they have shared interests that are already represented on this wall, she is going to add some of her own unique objects to symbolize some additional desires that she has for their future together.

Moving into a partner's home can be uncomfortable and difficult to integrate one's self, especially when the significant other raised their children there. I personally took this process very slow and initially only made changes my significant other asked for. If it was a change that I wanted to make, I intentionally took steps that would honor and respect the kid's history and personal feelings about the house. Adding small vignettes that were meaningful to me in most rooms of the house eased my way and I have felt completely at home from the very beginning.